1. The first time and only time I can remember, although there might be more of me defecating on myself was when I was sick in the 3rd grade. I attempted to do a jumping jack at home and as my arms fell so did everything else out of my bowels. It was a sad day to be my underwear and pants. My friend's a sad day indeed.
2. I like to do the business in the nude sometimes. Yeah, that’s right. I take it back old school. I strip down and begin to use el bano in the nude. It’s relaxing, refreshing, and natural. Judge me I say Judge me.
3. I have shitted every color besides your light ones i.e. pink,purple,turquoise, probably any blue there could have been a blue one but I don’t remember. I have shitted black, various greens, browns, oranges, and red is the scariest trust me. Actually black is pretty scary too but red that is some emotionally scarring shit.
Literally.
4. I believe I have categorized 4 shit types. Regular Razors Edge Slider Water….. Regular goes without saying. Razors Edge is that sharp shit that cuts your booty hole. Slider again goes without saying but I’ll say it... shit slides right out of ya. Water to me is the nasty of the nasties. There’s nothing like shitting plain water or not really plain water but you get the picture.
5. Best for last. As I was having sex with a lady of the evening, I was hitting it from the back and I couldn’t get it up so she ended up blowing me. As I went home I realized that my shirt had been covered in fecal matter. Bitch took a dump on my chest. I just paid for a Cleveland steamer.
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