About the Creators

Jack "Porcelain Crusher" Berg
When he is not destroying bathrooms elsewhere, Jack resides at the University of Miami. Once considered to be a hindrance, Jack has embraced his lactose intolerance with open arms, and lots of baby wipes. He is going to be a pilot in the greatest Air Force in the world, his only concern pooping at 36,000 Feet. He won Mr. Universe and the Nathans hot dog eating contest in the same year. He is known as a mountain guide in the wildernerness of West Milford where he fought off a drunk naked teenager with a pillow and a cot. He has won the prestigious "rookie of the year" two years in a row at Club Weems. He regularly dines with Sean Connery and Bruce Willis.

G "That doesn't smell like mud" Money
Coming from a long line of destructive doodie makers, Gary is a legacy learner. He has inherited skills through DNA that most would kill for, posers have trained for years to try and duplicate his poo prowess and failed. They don't teach what he knows. He is currently a coach at a northeast college and when he isn't blowing up bathrooms he builds houses for the homeless, finds cures for constipation, and visits the nations capital, because he is that patriotic. Some of his notable achievements include being the 12-time World Champion of the annual Lavalette Bocce Tournament. He is also considered to be a Crabs Claw alcohol connoisseur and an asamble in the wine world. He once kicked Arnold Shwartzenegger in the balls for eating his cannolli.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Joe College Steps Up His Game

As turkey day break comes to a close, it is necessary to recap the "realmen" in action. The night before thanksgiving brought out the usual old school crowds and finished with the hunt for food...eventually leading to chicken fingers at quick check.

Friday night brought the game to a whole new level. Beginning with vino, followed by a few vodka drinks, JB decided that it was going to be a low key night. Ignoring all concerns for his current heavyset physique, JB decided he wanted a burger. A few beers into the meal, burger devoured so quick he almost lost a thumb, JB looks up after licking his plate clean and says, "lets do this". JB turned into Joe College and his instincts took over. From that point on the night took a turn for the worse/better.

Two bars...whiskey and tequila shots...vodka sodas...beers...saying goodbye to the same girl multiple times and enjoying each one...trip to the diner...answering a random old drunk guys phone..."you want to talk to eddie? oooooo, hold on here he is...hello this is dan glesack"...a person who will remain unknown not finishing his taylor ham egg and cheese sandwich (your better then that), half ride home...second half with the popo's (always good to have connections)...non-stop bullshitting and farting...jersey bagels...extreme dumps caused by the actions of the night...

20 pounds heavier and a liver that has taken a beating...my thanks goes out to our fellow realmen who continue to take things to a whole new level. If it weren't for JB's claim of the week, none of those things would have happened. Well done sir. Hope everyone had a good break. Enjoy the holiday's coming up sooner then later.
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