About the Creators

Jack "Porcelain Crusher" Berg
When he is not destroying bathrooms elsewhere, Jack resides at the University of Miami. Once considered to be a hindrance, Jack has embraced his lactose intolerance with open arms, and lots of baby wipes. He is going to be a pilot in the greatest Air Force in the world, his only concern pooping at 36,000 Feet. He won Mr. Universe and the Nathans hot dog eating contest in the same year. He is known as a mountain guide in the wildernerness of West Milford where he fought off a drunk naked teenager with a pillow and a cot. He has won the prestigious "rookie of the year" two years in a row at Club Weems. He regularly dines with Sean Connery and Bruce Willis.

G "That doesn't smell like mud" Money
Coming from a long line of destructive doodie makers, Gary is a legacy learner. He has inherited skills through DNA that most would kill for, posers have trained for years to try and duplicate his poo prowess and failed. They don't teach what he knows. He is currently a coach at a northeast college and when he isn't blowing up bathrooms he builds houses for the homeless, finds cures for constipation, and visits the nations capital, because he is that patriotic. Some of his notable achievements include being the 12-time World Champion of the annual Lavalette Bocce Tournament. He is also considered to be a Crabs Claw alcohol connoisseur and an asamble in the wine world. He once kicked Arnold Shwartzenegger in the balls for eating his cannolli.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Lesson Learned

Gents,

It has been a while since my last post. Through many conversation topics with several of our other followers, I have been able to come up with several topics that I will be sharing in the next few days.

First off, I would like to note that on a wonderful saturday morning this past weekend I was woken up by two picture messages from two fellow Everyday Men. The first of which portrayed a rare form of dump, "THE ICEBERG". A task only few have accomplished since the great ICEBERG of 1787. For those who do not know, it is a log that manages to float above and below the sea level of the toilet. Congrats to you GP on this amazing task.
The second was nothing knew, but still one to mention. JB woke up after a night of drinking and sent me some footage of his sneeze shit. Covering nearly every inch of the can, the sneeze shit can be disastrous on many levels, which brings to my first topic.

The "Sneeze Shit":
After dropping a sneeze shit recently, I stood up to wipe (yes at times I do stand, depends on my mood), and as I finished up I turned around to flush and noticed there was doody on the toilet seat on the back end. I was shocked at first. How did it get there? Was the sneeze snow powerful that it projected doody upwards along with all over the can? I did not know. Then the thoughts kicked in...was I sitting on that doody the whole time? Do I have doody on me from the bounce back effect of the sneeze? As I checked myself I was relieved to see I did not, but I realized I must be aware from now on during a sneeze shit.
Lesson Learned: Do not underestimate the power of a sneeze shit. Doody can go almost anywhere.

The Filthy Wipe:
After confronting JB about this, I was happy to discover I am not the only one who has had this experience. There are some dumps where you know there might not be much for the wipe. Sometimes it is a ghost shit and there is nothing, which is the heavyset mans dream because he doesn't have to bust a sweat during the wipe process. Then there is the Filthy Wipe. This is a result of the shit that is so nasty, and stinky that you know it is going to be the never ending wipe. An all around bad experience and no matter what you do, you never feel like your ass is clean.
Lesson Learned: If you are experience multiple Filthy Wipers then it is highly recommended by the "Council of Everyday Men that Poop" that you purchase either wipes for your home or a mini travel pack to take with you to the office or keep in your car.

G
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