About the Creators

Jack "Porcelain Crusher" Berg
When he is not destroying bathrooms elsewhere, Jack resides at the University of Miami. Once considered to be a hindrance, Jack has embraced his lactose intolerance with open arms, and lots of baby wipes. He is going to be a pilot in the greatest Air Force in the world, his only concern pooping at 36,000 Feet. He won Mr. Universe and the Nathans hot dog eating contest in the same year. He is known as a mountain guide in the wildernerness of West Milford where he fought off a drunk naked teenager with a pillow and a cot. He has won the prestigious "rookie of the year" two years in a row at Club Weems. He regularly dines with Sean Connery and Bruce Willis.

G "That doesn't smell like mud" Money
Coming from a long line of destructive doodie makers, Gary is a legacy learner. He has inherited skills through DNA that most would kill for, posers have trained for years to try and duplicate his poo prowess and failed. They don't teach what he knows. He is currently a coach at a northeast college and when he isn't blowing up bathrooms he builds houses for the homeless, finds cures for constipation, and visits the nations capital, because he is that patriotic. Some of his notable achievements include being the 12-time World Champion of the annual Lavalette Bocce Tournament. He is also considered to be a Crabs Claw alcohol connoisseur and an asamble in the wine world. He once kicked Arnold Shwartzenegger in the balls for eating his cannolli.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Morning Workout

Waking up at 6 AM to work out with my peers has never been an issue, but they just can't seem to understand why after running for a mile I disappear. They think I'm breaking out because I'm out of shape, when in reality I'm going to get a work out of a different type. To me there is nothing grosser then running into a bathroom to work out, still breathing hard, and sweaty as hell, only to sit down, slide all over the seat, and take a nice sweaty dump. When I return to the track and I run much faster, but I fear for the safety of those in my wake because, lets be serious, when I am forced into poopin' on the fly, there is always some a residual gas. My thought for this morning- JB
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)