About the Creators

Jack "Porcelain Crusher" Berg
When he is not destroying bathrooms elsewhere, Jack resides at the University of Miami. Once considered to be a hindrance, Jack has embraced his lactose intolerance with open arms, and lots of baby wipes. He is going to be a pilot in the greatest Air Force in the world, his only concern pooping at 36,000 Feet. He won Mr. Universe and the Nathans hot dog eating contest in the same year. He is known as a mountain guide in the wildernerness of West Milford where he fought off a drunk naked teenager with a pillow and a cot. He has won the prestigious "rookie of the year" two years in a row at Club Weems. He regularly dines with Sean Connery and Bruce Willis.

G "That doesn't smell like mud" Money
Coming from a long line of destructive doodie makers, Gary is a legacy learner. He has inherited skills through DNA that most would kill for, posers have trained for years to try and duplicate his poo prowess and failed. They don't teach what he knows. He is currently a coach at a northeast college and when he isn't blowing up bathrooms he builds houses for the homeless, finds cures for constipation, and visits the nations capital, because he is that patriotic. Some of his notable achievements include being the 12-time World Champion of the annual Lavalette Bocce Tournament. He is also considered to be a Crabs Claw alcohol connoisseur and an asamble in the wine world. He once kicked Arnold Shwartzenegger in the balls for eating his cannolli.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

While walking down a small hallway heading towards porcelain bank to make a deposit, a female friend of mine began to follow me. I was already in full stride with my eyes on the prize and I was stinking up the hallway for sure. When I gave her fair warning to wait at the other side of the hallway for a while to let it air out, she gave me the "ew gross" reaction and continued down the hallway without heeding my warning. She was quickly turned around and "ew gross" turned into "what the fuck I'm going to puke". Moral of the story, if you are lucky enough to receive a gas warning, do what your friend says. Friends don't let friends walk into their gas cloud without a warning first, its just the right thing to do. -JB
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