About the Creators

Jack "Porcelain Crusher" Berg
When he is not destroying bathrooms elsewhere, Jack resides at the University of Miami. Once considered to be a hindrance, Jack has embraced his lactose intolerance with open arms, and lots of baby wipes. He is going to be a pilot in the greatest Air Force in the world, his only concern pooping at 36,000 Feet. He won Mr. Universe and the Nathans hot dog eating contest in the same year. He is known as a mountain guide in the wildernerness of West Milford where he fought off a drunk naked teenager with a pillow and a cot. He has won the prestigious "rookie of the year" two years in a row at Club Weems. He regularly dines with Sean Connery and Bruce Willis.

G "That doesn't smell like mud" Money
Coming from a long line of destructive doodie makers, Gary is a legacy learner. He has inherited skills through DNA that most would kill for, posers have trained for years to try and duplicate his poo prowess and failed. They don't teach what he knows. He is currently a coach at a northeast college and when he isn't blowing up bathrooms he builds houses for the homeless, finds cures for constipation, and visits the nations capital, because he is that patriotic. Some of his notable achievements include being the 12-time World Champion of the annual Lavalette Bocce Tournament. He is also considered to be a Crabs Claw alcohol connoisseur and an asamble in the wine world. He once kicked Arnold Shwartzenegger in the balls for eating his cannolli.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Changing Times

As I sat this morning with the window open and a draft coming over the can, I found myself thinking about a lot of things. Mid thought, my phone goes off. Angry at the interruption, I couldn't help but think about the ways in which technology has taken away from a mans time to think on the john. Whether it is texting, brick breaker, phone calls, etc. all of these things take away from the one place where we do our best thinking. Some of the greatest inventions of all time were thought of on the toilet: the waffle maker, the snuggy, electricity, george forman grills, the game of darts, and countless others. But lately these kinds of things have taken a drastic decline in our world. So today fellas, put down your phone or whatever it may be, don't take it on your morning journey to what could be an invention of greatness. Embrace our arena of thought.

GM
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