About the Creators

Jack "Porcelain Crusher" Berg
When he is not destroying bathrooms elsewhere, Jack resides at the University of Miami. Once considered to be a hindrance, Jack has embraced his lactose intolerance with open arms, and lots of baby wipes. He is going to be a pilot in the greatest Air Force in the world, his only concern pooping at 36,000 Feet. He won Mr. Universe and the Nathans hot dog eating contest in the same year. He is known as a mountain guide in the wildernerness of West Milford where he fought off a drunk naked teenager with a pillow and a cot. He has won the prestigious "rookie of the year" two years in a row at Club Weems. He regularly dines with Sean Connery and Bruce Willis.

G "That doesn't smell like mud" Money
Coming from a long line of destructive doodie makers, Gary is a legacy learner. He has inherited skills through DNA that most would kill for, posers have trained for years to try and duplicate his poo prowess and failed. They don't teach what he knows. He is currently a coach at a northeast college and when he isn't blowing up bathrooms he builds houses for the homeless, finds cures for constipation, and visits the nations capital, because he is that patriotic. Some of his notable achievements include being the 12-time World Champion of the annual Lavalette Bocce Tournament. He is also considered to be a Crabs Claw alcohol connoisseur and an asamble in the wine world. He once kicked Arnold Shwartzenegger in the balls for eating his cannolli.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Cigars Speak To Us

Sitting on my porch, cigar and beer in hand, I thought to myself that there is no better place for a man to relax and do some thinking. A good cigar and beer are means for conversation that rarely come up anywhere else. You find as the cigar gets closer to its end that it is easy to fade away in thought. But then...just as you were getting comfortable and settled in...the cigar begins to battle with your stomach. Can you fight it off? Drop a few air biscuits to give yourself some extra time to finish the cigar? Or... has the cigar won the battle?

Men, in this situation it is often best to admit defeat rather then be stubborn. Put the cigar down and enjoy the mass eruption and weight loss it has brought upon you. Then, clean and at a lighter weight, return to your cigar, kick back, and with a sense of victory among your thoughts, take the next puff and enjoy life.

It is not a battle men, but a price that comes with enjoying the things we do best. So on your next outing on the porch, remember...the cigar is your friend...dont fight it...listen to it.

Long Live Our Domain,
GM
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